"You're not the police, you're not a detective, you're a (20 something actress playing a) high school student"

Best line of the whole show.

Today's lesson in Beverly Hills High, be honest.
A lot of the so called "drama" in this show would be null and void if the characters decided to be honest with each other. For example...
Annie, come clean about hitting the homeless man. The jury will convict you of vehicular manslaughter and you will probably be put on probation (being a first time offered) for two years. No big deal, in the big picture. Plus, don't become friends with that weird nephew kid. He is going to kidnap you, tie you up in his basement and will skin you and wear you like a coat.
Dixon, be honest with the girl you are screwing and tell her you are 17 and what she is doing is illegal.
Jenn, be honest with Naomi and tell her you are a gold digging whore who spends her money like its water.

Also, word to the wise, everyone should have a mini tape recorder on them, so that they can record unsuspecting confessions, like Jenn's to Liam. And my point was proven. Thank God Liam isn't ask stupid as he lets on.

Special Movie Edition: Children of the Corn (remake)

I hated it. I watched for two hours as these creepy kids used religious justification to kill two people. The only good part...oh wait, there was no good part. It got kind of kinky when the 8 year old preacher (who was in charge) told two of the teenagers to "be fruitful." You know what that means? That's right. They had sex, in the church, in front of all the other kids. And those kids were loving it. They just stood there, eating some corn, watching this girl and boy go at it.

I am pretty sure that act alone, was breaking several laws of the Bible. I count two off the top of my head.

So, anyway, I was watching it because I wanted the outside man who the kids are trying to kill to lay some smack down on these little bitches. I wanted to see some blood. Because, good people should live, and bad people should die. Thus it is written in the movies. The good guy survives, the bad guy dies. Thats how it is. When the bad guy survives, then the audience doesn't feel closure. We want them to die because of the horrible decisions they have made. When children go around killing people, they in turn deserve to roast. Granted, in this remake, the man does take a couple of the kids out, but its not enough. He needed to take out the whole group.

But I digress. The overall movie was bad. The acting was bad. The main characters are this married couple who can't decide if they like each other or hate each other. They are constantly fighting, which is good because you tell yourself, once the kids start attacking they will work together, destroy the little monsters and limp away into the sunset. They have to be limping because of the three times they were almost killed and had to jump from a burning building into a hay bail or something. But when the wife finally goes, she only manages to take one of the kids with her. Really? You have two shots in that shotgun, and were surround by kids with pitchforks. You couldn't swing a dead cat and not hit one, but she manages to miss. I think she deserved to die after that loosely shot.

As for the man, after he evades capture, kills a couple of the kids and survives the night, he stumbles across the kids little corn circle. Sees his dead wife all strung up on a cross thing and hallucinate that she is telling him to give up. So thats what he does. After all of that, he doesn't even get to live.

Its so frustrating for an audience not to have that closure.

"I had sex with you because you got me drunk on wine coolers, and I felt fat that day."

So this week's episode made me angry.

First of all, i don't know what kind of sex education they have in western Ohio, but someone needs to tell Phin that you can't get pregnant if there is no penetration. I don't care how warm hot tub water is, it can't make sperm swim faster.

Second,, what is up with the douche-y mohawk guy saying he's friend of Phin while he's banging Phin's girlfriend? And what, are we suppose to feel bad for him, at the end of the game when he looks over and sees Phin and the cheerleader kissing? We dont feel bad for you. You totally deserve it.

You see, I believe in karma. Good people have good things happen to them, bad people have bad things happen to them. I want my art to reflect life in this manner. Good people live, bad people die. Its just natural. (for more on this, see my special movie post, "Children of the Corn."

Third, Rachel, don't be a diva. Sing your heart out and be humble and we will love you until the show end. Become a diva, and your character will lose sympathy and no one will want to see you succeed. Also, I did enjoy the power struggle between the male teacher and Rachel. Very interesting.

Fourth, fake preggers wife, tell him the truth so he can leave you and go be with the OCD teacher.

It's Always Sunny In Phillidelphia

I was a fan in high school, lost some enthusiasm, and was reintroduced in college. Now, I own the first three season, waiting to buy the fourth and counting down the days to the beginning of the fifth (which turns out to not be long. It starts again tomorrow night on FX.)
So, i basically have a WTF moment with every episode. Some episodes, I have two or three. Its one of the best shows on television.

I think one of the main reasons I like the show so much is because the creators and writers, are the actors. They were actors to begin with and when they couldn't find work, or find decent parts, they teamed up to create the show. Originally title, Its always sunny in television" and set in Los Angeles. But they changed the location and so the title changed also.

And I think that with each passing season, like a good wine or a courage, this keeps getting better, year after year. Don't believe me? Tune in tomorrow and grab your barf bags because you are going to laugh so hard, you will vomit all over yourself.

Super Skinny Me

These two journalist begin crash dieting in order to reach size 00 in five weeks. It is crazy.


One chick goes on the lemonade diet, a detox center for a week (where she had four colonics in five days). This chick, with two weeks to go, goes on a binge and eats all the food in her house. She has been "playing around with laxatives." Who the hell plays with laxatives? Also, its useless to take laxatives to lose weight. It doesn't work. She goes to visit a disorder doctor and he says he has to quit the experiment. She gets angry. She ultimately begins to vomit after bingeing but she has learned from it and even though the experiment ends, she still needs to visit the consulting doctor to make sure she is staying healthy.


The other chick does more of a "eat right, exercise more" diet. She even goes to visit an anorexia girl who "aspires to be like Nicole Richie." The girl says that is "unfair" that she has to put on weight to be a "healthy weight" and Nicole gets to look like that. Did you take into the fact that Nicole Richie is like, 5'1", so her frame is smaller then the average woman. Not that I can really defend Richie's size. She probably is unhealthy, but its no excuse to justify your own disorder. Thats just passing the blame. She does eventually get into a 00 pair of jeans but she doesn't like them. She hates it.

This is a very good documentary. Both women have developed emotional problems during their dieting and they go through some great emotional breakdowns. Great to watch, but very sad with sympathy for what they are putting themselves through.

"Glee Kids Horrah"

This show is getting better and better. The pilot was great and after a long summer (thanks Fox for causing that) we finally get back into the show.

The Push It routine was perfect. But the aftermath of censorship was bullshit.

The picnic with the virgin cosmos and the premature cumming/not cumming was priceless. I have to admit thought, that the whole idea about thinking about something tragic that happened when you were younger is a throw back to Arrested Development. In AD, George Senior teaches his kids life lessons by scaring them using a man with one arm. Different shows, same situation.

Damn, was I shocked when the Cheerleader Quinn showed up and "said a little prayer". And with her assimilation into the club, we now add a new level of espionage.


The season preview makes the look great.

90210 out of 10

On a scale of how bad this show, it rates a 90210 out of 10.

Lets just begin at the beginning of season two.

Silver: I don't know what kind of an education you are getting at posh West Beverly Hills High, but Montana is not across the country. Its actually, kind of close to California. Not as close as Nevada, but closer than New York.

Annie: So, what you killed a guy. He was probably an escaped

Naomi: Having an affair with an older man was unseen. Mainly because it is illegal. (Actor aside the fact that these actors are all in their 20s) but really, I thought she would have standards. Once that was revealed and she got into the little cat spat with that older woman, I wasn't surprised when he was married to the older woman. And then all of a sudden, Naomi gets morals? According to next week's preview she is willing to release a naked photo of Annie that will "ruin" (i use quotes because let's be honest, it won't ruin your life, Annie, it will make you more popular, ride the wave) her life, but she isn't willing to be a "cheater slut". Come on, get off your high horse.

And what the hell? No one slaps anyone anymore. There were like six spots in this show that someone should have slapped someone. Its kind of annoying. Slap a bitch, damn it.

Kings

So, I have recently been watching NBC's Kings on Hulu and I am really enjoying it.
This show is set in a fictional world with very compelling characters. You want the hero, David, to go through the dangerous Royal Court with his integrity in tacked. You want King Silas to become more caring, the queen to be less prefect. The prince and princess have their own issues they need to work out. Not to mention, all the while enemies of the state are conspiring to over throw the king and take his thrown. Its all very exciting.

Push your way past the pilot episode, which I must admit is very well done. Once you get into the third and fourth eps, the plot thickens and the storylines move faster. I am currently on episode 5, so I can't make a solid judgment about the entire show,but so far, so good.

Take a look and let me know what you guys think.